THE GOLDEN SHIT SHOVEL

 So on we go with those precious items that mean so much to us, the next is the "Golden Shit Shovel".

It is in fact my second attempt in a couple of days to make this job of work and you can see below in the image on the left that it can be clearly seen how the emulsion, the magic juice of the polaroid has solidified and refused to be squeezed out over the film to process the negative.

This sheet was left out of the fridge for over a month and now I have a better idea of its shelf life once un-thawed (two weeks max).  It is so important that we know the properties of the materials we use and how they react when they hit the air, or indeed react with other substances they come into contact with.

Anyhow, this  small utility shovel used for cleaning ashes from the grate which a few years ago came into its own as an integral part of an art project that went astray. 

Allow me to explain.

I previously tried to tell this tale and had prepared this much of the text back in 2017 which gets the story to a particular point.

This  seasonal anecdote has at its heart the same message as an earlier post on the lilliputian entitled birdstrike

A couple of weeks ago whilst walking into town I happened to pass Bolton Street College and The Chocolate Factory  on my way to power up an Exhibition in the NPA. Something caught my eye as I passed the slightly recessed joint between the Bolton Street building and the tall and elegant industrial facade of the Williams and Wood building, now home to the Chocolate Factory - an arts and Industry building -  the former site of the Irish Toblerone franchise and former home of  Silvermints (an Irish classic).
 Any how I noticed that some unfortunate had found them self in this semi-recessed place caught short with no access to a toilet and poo-ed on the street! Fairly normal thing you might assume.  I being doomed to make this observation was also doomed to pass this space every day for the next two weeks and on each occasion I had to note that this turd was not being removed.

I wondered who was responsible for this liminal space, this no mans land between  public street, educational institution and artistic entrepreneurial space where this rock now resided and was settling  in.

I looked and thought deeply. It was to the right of the Chocolate factory but a few inches directly outside the DIT College, but sitting back off the footpath, the domain of the City Council.

 

so to continue....

Looking at this everyday and seeing that it was only some 20 metres from two Dublin City  Council bins that flanked the entrance to Bolton Street College and also noting that the street was regularly swept, I was bewildered. I though and I thought, how could I express my disbelief in my cities ability to perform a simple clean-up. 

I had the following Idea, I could put the shit in the bin, but before I did I could paint it Gold, photograph it and create a  GOLDEN TURD  award and present it to the cleansing departments local office responsible for this spot. Then the award could become an annual event, where some incompetent official is awarded this stinker every year.

Given that this is a negative kind of award, we should really concentrate on the upside/not the downside and considering the logistical difficulties and the possibilities of infection in the field you would think that my mind would be the terminal point of this pre-occupation.

But after locating the  above shovel in my back garden, purchasing a can of gold spray in Evans Art Shop and securing a set of conservation grade surgical type gloves, I made my plan.

So late one January night 2017 I set out with my Hasselblad H3D 50, 80mm lens, flash, gold paint, gloves and Shovel!!

I have to admit I felt rather nervous as I approached the field of play, paranoid you might say. I felt as if I was being followed, being watched, surveilled by some dark dank force.

I approached the stool and took out my spray can and started to spray giving it a good solid coat.

I fired up my camera and flash and started to shoot, I was feeling the world closing down on me and even as there was no one around could feel my presence being observed by some horrible and remote person who was judging me and my actions, so i moved quickly.  Shot, got the shove picked up the Poo and moved the few metres to the council bin, dropped it in and put the now contaminated shovel in a plastic bag.

I was shocked when i got home to find that the paint had not cured on the poo and only the ground had got a good coat of golden paint and this put a stop to my overzealous plans to bring the powers that be too boot.

So I reverted to my previous good news only position, but swore I would learn a little more about the substances i was dealing with and how they wold react with the air and other materials they came into contact with.....

And of course we must also remember that no experience is lost on us and every little event is a means to incrementally advance our knowledge!